Never been more sure of anything in my life..

The keeper of my heart asked me the other day if I was sure. Because of the context of the conversation I responded to that by saying sure of you? Or sure of your pup? He said both.

And this is where it all goes wrong..I said "Never been more sure of anything in my life."

I'm normally really good at finding the right time, the right way, the right words to say how I feel. And with all the conversations, situations and heart to hearts I've had with him I thought for sure that me stating this in this exact way would allow him to see that I'm serious about him.

I have a friend I've known for years and she has always told me "you love to be in love." As true as that is. I know what I'm looking for, what I want and what it feels like. I know I've said time and time again about different people that I've never felt this way. Well I'm not lying. Because each person is different. However, something about him holds me, keeps me and I can't let that go.

The saying goes if you love someone set them free. If they come back they are yours, if they don't they weren't yours to begin with. The funny thing in that whole phrase is "if they come back they are yours." I used to believe in this with my entire being but recently it seems the real saying should say "if they come back its just a game."

I know what I'm dealing with, who I'm dealing with. And what was said that caused me to be where I'm at. Living 10 hours away by car, 2 hours away by plane doesn't help the situation. I want to do is go to him, hug him, look him in the eyes and say "this is home." I want to tell him that everyone else thinks I'm nuts, they say this will and can never work. But only you and I know what we have, what we feel. When the reality of it all is "I'm a lover, your a runner and we go round and round."

I stated before that I have placed my fate in the hands of the Lord and I trust him with my entire soul. This is how it remains and will remain until the end of time...

Dear Lord, I have one question,my dreams, signs all seem to point to him....and if he's where I'm suppose to be, where you want me to be, then WHY hasn't he gotten the same memo? And staid consistent to his words? I'm sorry, I guess that's two questions. I have every bit of faith and trust in you. Please continue to guide me.