Seriously.......

I have to wonder what the world has become in terms of dating. At least for me none of it makes any sense. I feel like I live in a fruit loop box.

I've been on many dating sites. You name it, I more in likely have a profile on it. The responses, the ads everything I read, the emails and messages I receive make me shake my head and say seriously!! Where are the sweet, gentleman types. The ones that actually have something to say, depth to there being and honesty. The guys that are ready to "MAYBE" settle down. Or at least have an adult relationship without holding past pretenses of PAST relationships against possible new ones?

I have a reason for writing this and it has got me a bit up in arms. Yet again I found a decent guy and start chatting with him. He tells me "I have a couple questions before I continue one with this conversation, they are sorta kinda deal breakers so I have to ask them right away." I say alright. Thinking that sure, everyone has a few questions they like to have answers to.

The first two were rather normal questions..Do I like to cuddle, do I have allergies? And then the 3rd is what set me off. Do you have multiple personalities. (Granted this could have been a joke. But he was ever so serious) He then stated that he's a bit picky when it comes to possibly making a long term relationship. Then he explains why he asked about multiple personalities and it went like this...

"I dated a girl for 3 months and she failed to inform me that she had multiple personalities.. and I found out at the worst time. We were having sex and she was on top of me and said "oh, you must be Emily's boyfriend."

To this I simply say TO MUCH INFORMATION!! Why is it he felt this was an important question? And how is it that guys (the ones I've been meeting) find it necessary to compare and assume your just like every other girl they've ever been involved with?

I'm not ranting so much as sharing yet another funny story in terms of my life. And this isn't the beginning and I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be the end of these....so stay tuned. I'm sure there will be more to come. :)

The Reason....

Life couldn't be better. In the last 3 years I've managed to do a few things I've never done...travel, meet new and interesting people. I have a wonderful job, fantastic friends and a loving family. The only thing that's missing is someone to share my life with.

I've been searching for Mr. Right for a while now..well only a year and a half. Not all that long. I've enlisted myself in the wonderful world of Internet dating. Although it hasn't been that wonderful, it has given me many, and I mean many interesting stories.

It seems that my life is rather entertaining to those close to me. And even those that aren't. So I've decided to write about my endeavors and share them. I figure I can't be the only person in the world with stories like these. And if anything...maybe someone that feels they are the ONLY one that this could possibly happen to will find comfort knowing that we are in the same boat together.

Epic Fail....

I'll begin with telling you about my most recent first date. He will be referred to as "Question man" for his saftey and my own.

Question man was found when I placed a personal ad on craigslist. He responded. I was really interested as FINALLY there was a guy that has something to say. Most replies I get are generic, But not Question man..he sounded normal, nice, polite and seemed to have his life together. We talked on the phone for a long period of time and decided on a time to go out and see if we clicked....

He was early for our date. I had no idea where we were going or what we were doing. The only information I had was told was it was an outdoor activity and I was to wear tennis shoes.

I get into his car and quickly realize that the photo he sent me had to be from about 7 years ago (alright a slight exaggeration) but none the less he looked nothing like his photo. I went with it, as his personality was awesome on the phone...so why not?

As he starts to pull away he makes the following comment "this is different, I've never dated a divorced women before." My response was "just because I was married doesn't mean I'm any different than any single woman out there. He states, "oh I know, but its definitely going to be different." (i realize now that this was when I should have just got out of the car.)


He took me to Minnehaha falls. I've never been there so this was awesome. We started walking and we get on a path and he jokingly says to me, “so is this where I should kill you.” I looked at him and said “try it. I don’t make it home I have friends that will find you, and I do mean that. They will find you and they’ll get away with whatever they do to you.” I was totally joking with him. But he looked scared...


So we continue on our walk it was very pretty and very muddy. At one point he says “oh didn’t realize it was so muddy. I wonder why its muddy.” I said well with all the tree covering, the rain we’ve had and the dirt there hasn’t been a chance to dry. Then he’s all “Ug, my shoes are all muddy…maybe if I put them in the water a bit.” *he inserts shoes into water* then says nope, guess I'll have to deal with it...I hate mud.

--WARNING!!....DON’T TAKE A GIRL TO THE WOODS IF YOUR NOT AN OUTDOOR GUY AND THINK YOUR GOING TO IMPRESS HER SOMEHOW!!!

We finally reach the falls, it was beautiful. I took time to admire it. The colors, the sound of the rushing water over the falls, nature....But he wouldn't SHUT UP! Question...question...question...as if I was on some dang trivia show.

We didn’t spend much time there as I would have liked, as he wanted to go swing. And as if this date wasn't already downhill it continued to spiral out of control. He brings up children. Asks when I want them. I say 5-7 years. He's all...interesting. I want kids but all they do is make it so that you can't buy the things you want for yourself. Then we continued to talk about this and that...I realized this would never work. He on the other hand kept saying, I wonder if we can meet in the middle. Compromise somewhere, Do you think its do able?

Then we’re in the car again and he’s all you have very interesting ideas, you must have them because of your divorce. I was all NO my ideas aren’t because of my divorce. (Because apparently up until my divorce I was some kind of brain dead)Then he says well you seem to be a great girl despite your ideas. I was slightly insulted and said really? Well I’m glad they don’t make me a horrible person. LOL

He then took me to the lock and damn. I've never been here either. I noticed the bathrooms so I went in and did my thing. When I came out, Question man was standing RIGHT there and literally said “anything new and exciting happen while you were in there? HAHAHA” I was all NO just the normal bathroom things. He says well that's good to hear.

I'm slightly terrified of heights, and any of you that have been to the lock and damn know there is a walk way that can be spooky to someone like me. This man thinks its funny to pretend to push me. By this point I was irritated and just wanting to go home.

We started towards the car and he asked if I was hungry and I told him no. Then I said can you just bring me back to my car? Then he realized that it just wasn't going well and began to repeat I learned something new about you, your afraid of heights...I'm so sorry I brought you here I should have known better.

He dropped me off and I was going to be nice and give him a hug because he was rather nice despite all the oddness and awkwardness he obviously has but he looks at me, puts his hands up and says something to the extent of “I’ll let you know, I have a lot of things to consider.”