Relationship...The definition or lack there of.

I've been doing tons of thinking, evaluating and trying to understand any and all relationships in my life that I have had, have or will ever have in the future. So with that I decided to see what the dictionary had to say about "relationships."

www.dictionary.com defines "Relationship" as the following:

–noun

1. a connection, association, or involvement.

2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students

To me this definition, as true as it is, is very cookie cutter. Duh factor...Simple to say the least. Needless to say it does nothing for me. As always when I look up a word I like to cross check it for a laugh on www.urbandictionary.com If you've never gone to this site, please do. It'll bring an instant smile to your face. Their definition of "relationships" is much more fitting, blunt and straight to the point. There are many, but here are a few:

• the thing that guys can fake as well as girls can fake orgasms.

• The reason for 70% of suicides in America.


• A legal form of prostitution where a female collects money, cars, and other valuable things in exchange for sex.


• any type of connection that brings two individuals together for a period of time


• something other than a friends with benefits


• more than a mutual understanding!!


• The most un-sturdy and uncertain vessel to navigate through any ocean of the heart. While the warm winds of prevailing love and romance blow favorably through its sails, this un-seaworthy vessel steers ahead with pride and promise. But upon hitting rough and stormy weather, too often the relationship flounders and sinks.


• The Ability To Put Up With Someone Else's Bullshit, Usually Of The Opposite Sex, For a Long Period Of Time.


• A bond between two people; One person works to create/maintain love and fulfillment while the other person waits for something better to come along.

Now I'm well aware that these definitions come from everyday people like you and I. For whatever their thoughts and opinions are on the matter. I'm not against relationships or anyone in them. I'd love to have one, but the more men I meet the more I love my dog. (Thank you Carrie Underwood for that song)
Don't get me wrong, this isn't a rant of a bitter, divorced, single, childless woman. But rather a woman that is open to the world around her, the experiences brought to her, and what I've learned from them.
Maybe I've just met ALL the wrong men.
Maybe I'm searching for something I've already found.
Maybe Men are scared little children of the monsters in the closet. (thus, they see woman as the scary monsters)
Maybe I just know what I want, what I'm looking for.
Or simply, Maybe Men aren't ready for a woman like me. When I say this, its not because I have a huge ego, that I'm arrogant or full of myself. Its simply, I'm a Catch! I say that with great confidence. Who in their right mind wouldn't want a woman whose strong, confident, loving, intelligent, funny, witty, caring, perfect mother type, treats her man like a King, and most importantly understands a man's world?

There really should be an app for the I-phone, droid or any other smart-phone, where all you have to do is type in the name of the guy your interested in, their birthday, career and interests and in return it'll do a search, find the instructions and allow you to follow them. That or a "men for dummies book."

In conclusion, a relationship is anything you define it as. If its friends with benefits, dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, lovers, family, spouses...the list goes on and on and ON. There is no right, there is no wrong. Its simply which definition defines you and what you want. And currently my definition of a relationship is one that is mentioned, found on www.urbandictionary.com
The most un-sturdy and uncertain vessel to navigate through any ocean of the heart. While the warm winds of prevailing love and romance blow favorably through its sails, this un-seaworthy vessel steers ahead with pride and promise. But upon hitting rough and stormy weather, too often the relationship flounders and sinks.

Never been more sure of anything in my life..

The keeper of my heart asked me the other day if I was sure. Because of the context of the conversation I responded to that by saying sure of you? Or sure of your pup? He said both.

And this is where it all goes wrong..I said "Never been more sure of anything in my life."

I'm normally really good at finding the right time, the right way, the right words to say how I feel. And with all the conversations, situations and heart to hearts I've had with him I thought for sure that me stating this in this exact way would allow him to see that I'm serious about him.

I have a friend I've known for years and she has always told me "you love to be in love." As true as that is. I know what I'm looking for, what I want and what it feels like. I know I've said time and time again about different people that I've never felt this way. Well I'm not lying. Because each person is different. However, something about him holds me, keeps me and I can't let that go.

The saying goes if you love someone set them free. If they come back they are yours, if they don't they weren't yours to begin with. The funny thing in that whole phrase is "if they come back they are yours." I used to believe in this with my entire being but recently it seems the real saying should say "if they come back its just a game."

I know what I'm dealing with, who I'm dealing with. And what was said that caused me to be where I'm at. Living 10 hours away by car, 2 hours away by plane doesn't help the situation. I want to do is go to him, hug him, look him in the eyes and say "this is home." I want to tell him that everyone else thinks I'm nuts, they say this will and can never work. But only you and I know what we have, what we feel. When the reality of it all is "I'm a lover, your a runner and we go round and round."

I stated before that I have placed my fate in the hands of the Lord and I trust him with my entire soul. This is how it remains and will remain until the end of time...

Dear Lord, I have one question,my dreams, signs all seem to point to him....and if he's where I'm suppose to be, where you want me to be, then WHY hasn't he gotten the same memo? And staid consistent to his words? I'm sorry, I guess that's two questions. I have every bit of faith and trust in you. Please continue to guide me.